Dear Young Discerner — You are Called by God,
Maybe you are losing sleep over it. On the other hand, there is a nagging feeling in the back of your mind every time you watch “The Sound of Music” or other inspirational movies. Perhaps you are simply feeling called to live out your faith in a deeper way and you are curious about what life is like for women living together in community and serving God. How does one know?
No matter what the reason, you are wondering what you are being called to do with your life. When faced with making major decisions about what God is calling you to do, the process can seem overwhelming and even a little scary. I know I started having this feeling when I was very young. I wanted to do so much. I wanted to be of service somehow and to help others who could not help themselves.
This kind of nagging questioning and wondering takes courage. In my case, it did not go away in my waking moments or in my dreams.
Sometimes you can get overwhelmed trying to figure out where you are supposed to go and what you are supposed to do. Jesus tells us that He is the Way. If you cling to Him you are going to know exactly what you need to do and where you need to go.
There are a few steps in this process of knowing, but prayer is number one. Prayer is a way of talking to Jesus; having long conversations with Him on a daily basis and receiving the sacraments often. Making a Holy Hour in church in front of the Blessed Sacrament, reading the Bible and praying the Rosary — these are all good practices.
If a Religious Sister invites you to visit her convent, especially if she invites a group of young, enthusiastic girls to go, you will feel you have the support you need to ask questions and share concerns. You do not have to do this alone. Be sure to visit more than once. Visit often during the different times of the year. Watch, listen and keep asking questions.
Some Communities offer retreats. Ask if you can attend one of their retreats. If you have been visiting on a regular basis, the Sisters will surely allow you to share in their retreat days. It is like dating. Really! You need to visit often and ask questions because this is different than choosing a college or a job. It is not about ‘you making a decision.’ It is about discovering God’s will for you!
When you visit a Community of women who dedicate themselves to serving God and the Church, you are trying to see if they are a good fit for you. The Community, on the other hand, will be looking to see if they can detect traces of their charism (their identity) in you. It is a time of getting to know each other. It is really a mutual look at each other that is done respectfully and in a mature way. God has a specific plan for you and you need help to discover that.
“How can I become the best version of myself and respond to God’s call for me?”
When you have discovered God’s will for your life, you can place your complete trust in God.
Trust that God speaks through your feelings and experiences. Trust that God wants to bless your life. And, when clarity comes, do not be afraid to embrace the gift. Be prepared to surrender your plans and aspirations and really give your life over to God with total abandonment.
If He invites you, be ready to give everything away. Be ready to leave your father, mother, brothers, sisters, friends and plans because this call of God’s is insistent and is beyond us. It is a supernatural calling. It is not of us, it is of God. It is like something that you never in a million years could have imagined! God is calling you to do what? It is nothing you could have created. It is a gift which He has given to you and you can respond with a huge “Yes!” like our Blessed Virgin Mary.
Go! Go visit different Communities of religious women! I wrote to the Maryknoll Sisters because I wanted to be a missionary; I wrote to the Benedictines because they were from my hometown; I inquired about the Franciscans because I liked their habit; but God had a place for me with the Sisters of St. Mary of Oregon — of whom I had never even heard of at the time!
There will come a day when you visit a convent and you will feel right at home because it is where God has made a place for you. I did! It is just like falling in love. It feels like something just clicks the right way and you feel like you belong there. After almost 60 years of being a Sister I often still feel like that! God is so great and awesome!
This is not like a movie that takes you through the story in 60 minutes. It all takes time. If you discern that God is calling you to join a particular Community of religious women, you will spend a lot of time with them before becoming a Sister. The first step takes six to 12 months during which you will be a postulant. Next, is a period of two years as a novice then you spend another five years as a temporary professed Sister before taking your final vows. This process gives you plenty of time to make the necessary adjustments of living in Community.
For me, time has flown by so very quickly. I had to study at the university to get my degree in teaching. I visited my family in both Oregon and in Texas and now my siblings are scattered all over the USA. I made many trips to Mexico to learn to speak Spanish correctly. Once, not long ago, I stayed in Mexico for an entire year! I visited Costa Rica in Central America. I visited the Holy Land. I spent seven months in Europe during my sabbatical. A sabbatical is a year off to rest. I have served in many parishes spreading the Good News of Jesus to children both rich and poor. There have been good times, better times and some sad times but I have always stayed under the shadow of Our Lady and offered all of my life for the greater glory and honor of Jesus, my Spouse!
However, often you will feel humbled by the way the elderly Sisters put each other before themselves. Many Sisters work very hard and this is a behavior you hope to exhibit yourself one day. You will learn what it means to live in a community in relation to others and the sacrificial love that community will draw forth from you. You will roll up your sleeves and do whatever He asks you to do because you love Him with all your heart. God will give you the strength to persevere all the way to final vows and beyond. You will take your time daily at the feet of your Friend, Jesus. But for now, He alone asks you to try to step out in faith and give Him everything you have.
The Sisters of St. Mary of Oregon work in various fields: teaching, nursing, parish work — always with the goal of affirming the dignity of the human person. The Sisters live valiantly, honor the unique gifts of each person, strive for excellence and celebrate God and life. They connect in their prayer life, their work schedules, their chores, and their eating meals together. You will feel embraced by and surrounded by the heart of the community.
If you wish to respond to God’s call, do not focus on what you will be giving up — a boyfriend, marriage and motherhood, for example — focus on what you will gain — a deeper and more intimate relationship with God. It is choosing between two or more goods in an effort to align your life with God’s will. I love meeting many people, making new friends and enjoying many friendships. It can be a bit complex, but God’s grace is always sufficient for the task before you.
God wants you to be happy and the Lord who made you and made your heart knows what can bring you to the greatest happiness. Discovering your call (after “dating” different communities of religious women) will really bring you your greatest joy.
I encourage you to really look and see what God’s will is for you. Whether it is marriage, single life or religious life, God has your happiness at the center of His Sacred Heart, so you do not have to be afraid.
I love you and so does GOD!
