“It’s been quite a learning curve for me,” explained Missy Martin, whose mother Marilyn is a resident at Maryville Memory Care. “There was a time period where she could come home for the holidays, now it is better to visit here at Maryville instead.”
Marilyn H. is one of 14 residents with memory loss who are being cared for at Maryville Memory Care. Maryville, established more than 60 years ago by the Sisters of St. Mary Oregon, is the Sisters’ long-term, rehabilitative and memory care facility. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, in 2024, nearly 10% of people in Oregon over age 45 have subjective cognitive decline, which means more and more families across the state are navigating the challenges of caring for a loved one with memory loss.
For family members like Missy, spending quality time during the holidays with her mother can be especially challenging. Due to the symptoms Marilyn experiences from dementia, she needs special support. Thanks to the expert caregivers at Maryville Memory Care, Missy and Marilyn have learned to make the most of the holidays together.
Katie Hadley is the Administrator of Maryville Memory Care. She has been in the health care field for approximately 18 years, but her experiences of loved ones with memory loss started at an early age. “My grandmother was in a memory care facility and I have some early memories of visiting her during the holidays,” Hadley said. “It can be difficult, but I learned at an early age that the best thing you can do is to be there and meet them where they are at.”
It is challenging watching loved ones go through the transition to a nursing home and watching them develop cognitive deficits and chronic pain. That is why the caregivers at Maryville Memory Care really focus on the quality of life. They do everything they can to help residents and their families feel comfortable and feel like they are right at home – especially during the holidays.
“Our residents really enjoy the holidays. It is a great opportunity to embrace that and lean into the nostalgia that really resonates with them,” said Hadley. “If your loved one enjoys Christmas music – turn it on, if they like decorating – help them decorate their room or door. It is amazing to see the joy a resident can get from simply wrapping their door with gift wrap and placing a bow on it.”
Simple crafts and projects, especially around the holidays give loved ones a sense of purpose and a little extra joy. From decorations to baked treats and festive music to fun visits from Valley Catholic students, the staff at Maryville are dedicated to bringing holiday cheer to the residents, allowing them to join in on the festivities while remaining safe and comfortable.
For many caregivers of loved ones experiencing dementia, especially those who are caring for their spouse or family member on their own, finding a support system is the first step to managing memory decline. Missy says the caregivers at Maryville have taught her so much about how to help her mother meet the ups and downs of dementia.
“I can say absolutely for both of us: the people here are so wonderful,” Martin explained, “Care is their primary concern for the residents. For me personally, they have turned into a true support system.”
For Maryville activities coordinator Kristi Rogers, getting to know each resident personally and the close-knit community of staff, residents, and family members is what allows people to receive the highest quality of care.
“There are a lot of opportunities for one-on-one connections and activities. You get to know everyone personally, including the family members,” Rogers said. “We’ve become family. We all care a lot about each other.”
Both Hadley and Rogers say their many years of experience working with people who suffer from memory loss has taught them the important lesson of being open-minded and compassionate while getting to know each resident as an individual – not just a diagnosis. Every person is different with unique symptoms and personality traits.
“You have to meet them where they are,” explained Rogers, “You have to go with the flow.”
“A misconception is that they are not the same person,” said Martin. “But, their personality does not change. It is something I’m so grateful for. Even if some days she does not know who I am, I can still kid around with her the same way.”
While the holiday season can bring new challenges for family and friends supporting loved ones experiencing cognitive decline, the experts at Maryville say it can also be a time for joy, love, and connection. Missy and Marilyn H. enjoy holiday meals together at Maryville and have enjoyed a number of special holiday activities, such as making scarves.
“Don’t hold back. Be their friend, be their daughter, be their neighbor, be their aunt or uncle. Include them,” advised Martin. “And tell them you love them.”
